Scars
by yra
Summary: Harry is no longer the only hero with scars after the Battle of Hogwarts...Harry and Ginny paring, though it may not look like it in the first chapter. Trust me.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Not mine, otherwise I wouldn't be this far in debt..._

_A/N: Yeah, yeah, another post-Battle of Hogwarts fic, hopefully a little different than others, but by this point, who knows? Not starting out perfectly between Harry and Ginny, but moving through their issues. Come on, after that night, everyone will have issues._

"That wand's more trouble than it's worth," said Harry. "And quite honestly," he turned away from the painted portraits, thinking now only of the four-poster bed lying waiting for him in Gryffindor Tower, and wondering whether Kreacher might bring him a sandwich there, "I've had enough trouble for a lifetime."

"And then some," Hermione agreed heartily as she pulled the door closed behind them.

Together the three friends stepped down onto the staircase, which conveniently switched directions and took them slowly downwards. With sympathetic winces, they passed the stone gargoyle still leaning drunkenly against the wall, who lifted a hand in vague recognition. They waved and started down the corridor.

"So Voldemort," Ron grinned, apparently relishing the freedom to say the name, finally, aloud, "is dead, and the Horcruxes are gone, and the Death Eaters are captured or on the run, and they're releasing everyone from Azkaban—"

"I hope they find Luna's dad," Harry said.

"—and Kingsley of all people is the Minister of Magic—"

"_Temporary_ Minister of Magic," Hermione reminded him.

"—and even Umbridge is probably gonna pay."

"She'll say she didn't have a choice," Hermione muttered darkly.

"Kingsley won't buy that. But the thing is…the war is _over._ It's done. _We're_ done! We don't have to hide! We don't have to go back to that damn tent! We don't have to eat Herm—anything we don't want to!"

"Nice save," Harry said with a small thumbs up.

A glance at Hermione showed her not angry, but slightly disgruntled. "Is my cooking _really_ that bad?"

"No!" both boys chorused.

"It is," she sighed. "But there were a lot more important things to think of than cooking, Ronald."

"And you were amazing at all of them."

Again, Harry looked over his shoulder at Hermione to find her a faint pink with a tiny smile on her lips.

"So what now, Mr. Harry-Boy-Who-Lived-Chosen-One-Potter?" Ron asked, nudging him in the shoulder. "What are you going to do now that you have your own life?"

"Sleep," Harry answered without hesitation. "For about five days. I might wake up on the third day for some food. Then back to sleep. After that…I have some ideas."

"Do any of these ideas involve _my_ little sister in any way?"

"Oh, several of them!" Harry said cheerily. "You probably don't want to know which ones."

"Bwah!" Ron threw up his arms in horror.

"There's nothing you can do about that, Ron," Hermione said, moving to slide her arm into his. "And I don't see that you can even argue against it any more. So smile, and be happy for them, and think about _your_ ideas for the future."

"Well, Hogwarts is going to need some serious maintenance, and Luna doesn't have a house anymore, we'll have to put her and her dad up somewhere, and we'll be able to open the shops up in Diagon Alley again, but all that can wait. What's really important is the wounded. McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, and Slughorn got the worst out to St. Mungo's, and Madam Pomfrey and some helpers took care of the rest, but family has to be notified if they aren't here and we have to get them all home…Plus we should really set up something for the people who lost someone, a private memorial before the real funerals because you know they'll be swarming with people like Rita Skeeter and…what?"

Hermione had stopped, her hands on her hips, regarding Ron with an expression somewhere between exasperated, awed, amused, and adoring.

"What?" he repeated, turning to look at her. "What did I miss?"

Harry picked up his pace, leaving them to a blessed moment alone, yet still their voices followed him.

"What did I forget?" Ron asked. "I—your parents! Of course, but they can wait for a couple days, can't they? I know you miss them bad but there are so many other things that are really important, too."

"Like _your_ family," Hermione agreed. "But I wasn't talking about all that. I was talking about something a little more…personal."

"What, like…? Oh! Oh, you mean you and…oh!"

"Yes, Ron. I mean me and oh."

"Oh. Well, yes, of course I should plan for _that_ in the future. The near future. The very near future. But…maybe after sleep?"

"After sleep." Harry could not remember ever hearing Hermione sound like that, somewhat coy, and yet shy. "But definitely in the near future."

Several yards ahead of them now, and not slowing down, Harry rounded the final corner to the main staircase. The roar from the Great Hall seemed to have died down slightly. He wondered if anyone had noticed his absence yet.

Then his eyes caught on something, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

There, at the bottom of the stairs, sat a girl with long, brilliant red hair.

She sat sideways, so he could see part of her face. It was tipped up to the round-faced young man talking to her, yet Harry barely noticed him. His gaze was drawn to a long, thin graze along one of her pretty cheeks, something he had not seen when she threw herself into his arms nearly an hour ago.

Suddenly, he had a burning desire to know where that graze came from…where she had been in the battle, what she had done, had she missed him, had she thought of him nightly as he thought of her, longed for his arms or his smile or his laugh?

_It can wait,_ his exhausted mind whispered. _You have forever now. It can wait._

She smiled.

_Maybe sleep can wait._

Harry took several eager steps to the nearest stair, his voice set to call to her.

The round-faced young man offered her his hand. She took it, and let him pull her to her feet. Her smile widened. She wrapped one arm around his neck.

Harry froze once again.

Ginny Weasley leaned forward and kissed Neville Longbottom.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Still not mine, just borrowing them, will clean them up when I'm done, I promise._

_A/N: Thanks go to AmySerenityRaye (just shaking Harry up a little, don't worry) Mark Wink (your wish is my command…at least in this instance…) codyesh2 (updating as soon as I can) ginevra-james (trying to make this a little different than the others, hope you like the rest) and our last review was anonymous, but appreciated, so to whomever you are (supposed to be unexpected, glad I threw you for a loop!)_

For a moment Harry felt as though the ground had dropped out from underneath him. It was strange how seeing Ginny kissing someone, anyone else, brought up a rush of emotions almost as powerful as staring into the face of his dead mother. Yet the feelings were all bitterness, without any of the sweetness in Lily's face.

_Not this, too. Lupin, Tonks, Fred, Dobby, Moody, Dumbledore, Sirius, even Snape…now I lose her, too?_

"Ginny! Neville!"

Ginny pulled away from Neville, and looked towards the entrance of the Great Hall with a smile as something shot towards them like a bolt of sunlight. Luna, grinning wildly and not at all startled by their embrace, ran towards them. Ginny's arm remained around Neville's neck, and his hand stayed at the small of her back.

Harry could bare the sight for only a second. He turned blindly away, and began up the stairs, taking them two at a time. In a moment he heard footsteps behind him.

"Harry!" Hermione said breathlessly, whether from racing up the stairs or from Ron he could not be sure. "Harry, wait! It's Ginny and Luna and Neville!"

"I saw," he said shortly.

"But…don't you want to talk to them?" Hermione tried again. "I mean, it's Luna, and Neville…and _Ginny!_"

"I _saw,_ Hermione!"

He dashed up several more stairs, and took the corner towards Gryffindor tower at a stride that was close to a run.

"What's up?" Ron cried. "I thought you'd want to at least say hi! I mean it's Ginny! It's Neville and Luna and _Ginny!_"

"I _know_ who it is, Ron!" Harry snarled back. "I saw…I just want some sleep."

At last he arrived at the portrait of a rather fat lady in a pink silk dress. She beamed at the sight of him, and gave something like a seated bow.

"Hello, dear! Oh, I was so hoping to see you again someday! Are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you," he muttered gruffly. "I don't know the password."

"Oh, don't be silly!"

She swung obligingly forward, and Harry quickly crawled through the portrait hole. Hermione and Ron scrambled after him, then up the stairs into the common room.

Here they all came to a sudden stop.

The fireplace stood empty and dead looking. The chairs seemed untouched, and the tables clear of old papers or forgotten school books. A faint film of dust decorated the sill of the big window where Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione most liked to sit.

"It looks like no one has been here in months," Hermione breathed. "Not even a house elf."

"Did they all end up in the Room of Requirement?" Ron wondered. "All the Gryffindors?"

"Maybe," Harry said. "I can't imagine any of them not fighting the Carrows, but still…wow."

They moved forward together, huddling close as though walking into a haunted house. Harry half expected ghosts of students to be found whispering around the empty tables, or floating down the stairways to the boys' and girls' dormitories. Yet there was not even that much life.

"People were in here, firing off curses," he reminded the other two. "McGonagall brought people up here, remember?"

"But they would have been higher up," Hermione said. "That would be the best vantage point."

"This is really creepy," Ron said as he tentatively touched an old chair. "We need to get some people in here and give it life."

As though in answer to his wish, there came the sound of the portrait hole swinging open.

They whirled around smoothly, Harry at point, Ron and Hermione beside and slightly behind him, moving by instinct. Without thought they all reached for the wands underneath their robes.

Ginny, Neville, and Luna all stopped, their hands raised in front of them.

"We surrender," Neville said with a little grin.

Harry's hand tightened on his wand, and he contemplated blasting that smile off, as well as the rest of Neville's face.

On either side of him, though, Hermione and Ron relaxed.

"Sorry," Ron muttered. "That's a habit that's going to take a while to get rid of."

"Yes, it must have been very scary," Luna said pleasantly. "We at least knew where the Carrows were, so we knew where they would come from. The Death Eaters could have come from anywhere on you."

"What are you doing up here, Luna?" Hermione asked, though her voice was perfectly friendly. "This isn't your House."

"I know that, but I think I would rather stay with Ginny and Neville, and the three of you, if you don't mind. I don't have any Ravenclaw friends, you know."

"Where's everyone else?" Ron asked, his question directed at Ginny.

Harry knew "everyone else" meant the rest of the Weasleys.

"Bill's helping Kingsley, so he's already gone, and he took Percy with him. Charlie's still downstairs, trying to sort out who needs next of kin notified. Dad's gone to help with the liberation of Azkaban. Mum…" Ginny dropped her eyes for the first time. "Mum and George are helping to take the last few wounded to St. Mungo's. I think she wants George near her, but away from all of this. Fred is still where they left him."

A long silence followed this. Harry looked at Ginny's pained face, and finally lowered his wand.

"Why are you still here?" he asked.

Those bright brown eyes lifted to meet his.

"I thought I could do more here than anywhere else," she said softly. "I wanted to help the people I…care about at Hogwarts."

Harry found himself once again unable to tear his gaze from hers. She always did that, held him with just a look. His own eyes began to soften.

"We're all staying here," Neville added, gesturing from himself to Luna and Ginny. "We have a duty to the DA."

Suddenly, it wasn't so hard to look away.

"What are you doing up here, then?" He couldn't stop the gruffness in his own voice, or the heat of his eyes as he stared at Neville.

"The adults told us to get some rest," Luna explained. "We saw you three coming up here, so we followed. We were at the bottom of the stairs. You didn't see us?"

Harry returned his eyes to Ginny. "I saw you."

She blinked at him, her face confused and hurt by his tone. Then, slowly, her beautiful brown eyes began to widen. She shook her head.

"Wait, Harry—"

"I'm going to sleep."

"No, Harry, wait!"

"Goodnight, you guys. Or morning. Whatever."

"Harry, Ginny's talking to you," Luna called, her voice somewhat alarmed.

"Harry!" Ginny shouted after him.

"What in the hell—?" Ron called. "Harry, what's wrong with you?"

But he was already through the door, and heading up the stairs to the dormitory. He heard confused whispers behind him, Hermione, Ron, and Luna all pelting questions at Ginny. Her voice came higher, more agitated, while Neville's dropped as he apparently tried to soothe her.

Harry opened the door to the dormitory he had shared with Seamus, Dean, Neville, and Ron for six years. A glance around showed it as derelict as the room below, if not more so. Cobwebs hung from the curtains around the beds, glistening eerily in the golden light streaking through dirty windows. Yet all five beds were made, as though waiting for the young men to return from another day of classes.

Before he even reached his own bed, the door crashed open behind him.

He turned, expecting Ron there to demand an explanation for his behavior, or Hermione with worried questions. He did not expect to see Ginny, her fingers clenched on the door knob, her face white but her brilliant brown eyes blazing.

"Harry," she began in a low, shaking voice, "wait just one second. You don't understand."

"Don't," he interrupted. "Please, Ginny, don't. I get it. I was the one who cut it off. I was the one who left."

"No, you don't get it. Neville and I…this year, we got really close. All the DA did, but especially Luna, Neville, and me. We went through so much together…" Ginny gestured helplessly with one hand.

Something hot ripped at Harry's tired mind. After the accumulated triumphs and losses of the last twenty-four hours, he wanted nothing more than to collapse and let everything wait until he could think. Instead Ginny was forcing him to speak, to try and rationalize when all he could do was feel. He knew he should hold his silence, but felt his mouth opening.

"Considering how close you three got, why weren't you kissing Luna, too?" he demanded.

Ginny's jaw began to tighten. "You don't know what happened around here while you were out doing whatever the hell you were doing, Harry. The Carrows—"

"The Carrows have nothing to do with you kissing Neville!" Harry nearly shouted. "I'm sorry, but before I left, on my birthday, I thought…I thought you meant…you were saying…But I was wrong."

"Well, here's a thought, oh Chosen One," Ginny hissed, her eyes narrowed. "Has it occurred to you that my kissing Neville has nothing to do with _you?_"

He opened his mouth.

Nothing came out.

He closed it.

"Lots of really bad stuff happened while you were gone, Harry," she continued, finally releasing the door to march closer. She came close, her face in his, her eyes burning with a fire that she had repressed too long. "This was not the Hogwarts you knew. What did you think it would be like, with the Carrows running things in Voldemort's name? People were _hurt,_ people were _tortured,_ people…people would…Not everyone thought you were coming back! A lot of people thought Voldemort had already won! There was no…no hope! _You_ weren't here to be the leader! _You_ weren't around to stop the Death Eaters, or give us any kind of idea what you were doing after you left me!"

Harry blinked at her, and Ginny quickly shook her head.

"After you left us!" she corrected herself. "So it was up to _us!_ And we did what we could, and we did a good job without you! _Neville_ picked up the slack while you were gone!"

"While I was…do you have a _clue_ what I was doing?" Harry yelled right back, finally finding his voice. "Voldemort split his soul into _seven_ pieces, and I had to find six and destroy them before I could kill him!"

"How the hell would I know _that!_" Ginny shrieked. "How would I know _anything!_ You _left,_ you arse, and you never told me where you were going! And I was _worried!_" She shoved him roughly in the chest. "And I was _scared!_ And then Bill said you were with him, but I couldn't come see you, and I waited and waited and _waited_, and the first time I found out where you were was from _Neville!_"

"Of course, because you kept in touch with him, even while you were in hiding!" Harry roared. "I left you and didn't say anything to keep you safe, and he throws your life on the line with those idiot coins!"

"Hermione made those coins, yell at her!" Ginny shot back. "Then I got here, and you told me to _go back!_ You said I _couldn't fight!_ You _agreed with my mother!_ And you ran off, and I didn't know where you were, _again,_ and then you went to face Voldemort, and you _died!_ I saw him…I saw _you…_you weren't moving…I thought you weren't breathing…You ass!"

This time it was a full force punch to the chest. Harry staggered back, but again she lunged up after him, grabbing his shirt to drag him close.

"And after everything, _everything,_ you disappear without one word to me! I looked all over the Great Hall, and Luna told me you had left, with Ron and Hermione! You didn't say a _word_ to me!"

"So you got Neville to come and comfort you instead!" he snapped. "He seemed to be taking pretty good care of you from where I was standing!"

"At least I can trust him to stick around!" she yelled. "At least I can trust him to be there when I need him!"

"Then go and be with him!" Harry shouted. "Go and let him _stick around!_"

A wordless shriek tore from her throat. There was a flash of a wand, and something harder than a punch hit his chest. He flew several feet backwards, and hit the ground on his back.

Ginny's footsteps ran away, towards the door. It slammed shut behind her, leaving him with nothing more than her echo, and a soft, flowery scent in the air.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Still not mine, just borrowing them, will clean them up when I'm done, I promise._

_A/N: Whew, that was a long hiatus! Not as long as for some of my other stories, though…Anyway, thanks go out to AmySerenityRaye (I'm actually devoting myself mostly to this story at this moment, because it will be the shortest, and in the next few chapters it's gonna explain why Ginny's being cranky, but there is no one for Harry but Ginny, I promise) CSIlyoness (the adults could only do so much protecting, Harry's gonna get an earful, glad it's different from the other fics and I hope it stays that way!) ginevra-james (I am so naughty when it comes to cliffies) KeyKeeper12 (end of a long battle, people first get to overreact, and then comes the comfort and cuddling time) nilpotter (no, no, kiss makes sense, will explain) codyesh2 (oh, Ginny/Harry all over the place, trust me) Pati G W Black (glad you love, going as fast as my brain will allow me) Maxie1514 (here you go, sorry you had to wait so long) milkmamma (I thought we should know a little of what everyone else went through, and remind Harry not only that Ginny suffered, but of all the reasons he loves her) mac9164 (it has not been abandoned, just delayed! Sorry, and thank you!) loralu (again, sorry for the delayed, and thank you so much for the encouragement that keeps me writing) InusAkane (so sweet, just wanna cry, thank you, and it's hard not to write a Ginny fic without passion, one of the reasons she's my favorite)_

Harry jolted awake, for perhaps the tenth, or hundredth, time. He lay still, blinking away the after images of dreams and trying to find his bearings. For so long he had awoken to the sights and sounds of a tent in various woods. It was strange to be lying on a bed that smelled musty, but nothing like cats, with walls of stone instead of canvas.

Exhausted, he let his head fall once more back onto the pillow. The room was dark. He glanced distractedly towards the window. Night had fallen once more on Hogwarts.

A quiet night.

Sitting up, Harry looked around the room again. A silver pitcher sat on the table at his elbow, beside a plate empty of anything but the smallest crumbs. He vaguely remembered there had been sandwiches there, one of the times he awoke, and a treacle tart. The glass beside the pitcher still bore a little orange stain on the bottom. Yes, Kreacher had thought to even bring pumpkin juice for him to wash it all away.

_Wash it all away._

That was never going to happen. Not the sights of the bodies, or the voices of his dead parents, or the mind numbing, heartbreaking terror of death as he walked through the forest, or…

His head felt strangely heavy with all the memories. He could never make them go away, but he pushed them to the back of his mind. Instead, he tried to remember the dreams haunting him even after he escaped back into consciousness.

Jumbled images came to him: silver diadems hovering over his head and talking in riddles, heavy golden lockets that chased him through twisting corridors and laughed high and cold, tiny cups with silver wings instead of handles that flew just out of his reach, heavy ruby encrusted swords that suddenly transformed into hissing snakes…Over and over, the Horcruxes wove through his mind. At other times, his dreams were full of a dark cave, a black carriage pulled by a glowing silver stag and doe, and a glassy black lake full of familiar dead faces. Or he passed through silver doors carved with a thousand staring faces, or ran through a maze of bushes, hearing someone screaming but never able to find them.

Vividly, he remembered taking a sudden, sharp corner, and finding himself face-to-face with a slender, brilliant red dragon. Her head reared back, and her eyes, dark brown and blazing, flashed at him. She bared her teeth. He took a step back. For a moment, he thought of running. Then he saw them, shimmering on the eyelashes of the dragon. Tears. Funny, how he had never noticed that dragon's had eyelashes, or that their pupils weren't really slits, but round, and their faces looked so human, and of course it wasn't really a dragon, but a girl, and he had never truly appreciated how beautiful she was or how much he just wanted to be near her or how sweet her fire was…And even as the first tear slipped down her cheek, she smiled and shook her head and spoke.

_"Harry Potter, you're an idiot."_

He never got a chance to agree, as he had jerked suddenly awake.

Harry still felt tired, exhausted really, but he knew he would not be returning to sleep anytime soon. Besides, it was not exactly offering him any peace. He unwound the blankets from around his body, and stood up, still clothed but barefoot. A hand through his hair made it wilder than usual, yet he did not care. He headed for the door and the stairway.

The common room was silent and still. Only a few of the candles lining the walls had been lit. For a second he thought he was alone. Movement from one of the chairs beside the softly crackling fire made him start harder than he ought to, and reach automatically for a wand not there.

"Hello, Harry," Neville said softly, standing in front of his chair. The blanket that had been thrown across his lap now trailed from his hand. He stared across at Harry with a calm, still face, but his eyes were wide and anxious.

Harry crossed his arms uncertainly. "Hello, Neville. Where is everyone?"

"Scattered around the castle…doing things. Ron and Hermione slept most the day down here with the rest of us. Everyone wanted to give you some space. Azkaban's been completely emptied, so Luna's at St. Mungo's with her father."

"Right." He shifted from one foot to the other. "Were you, uh, asleep?"

"No. I was waiting for you to wake up. Harry—"

"Where's Ginny?" Harry interrupted. Neville sounded too serious, as though he wanted to discuss the one thing he could not bare to think of.

"She's in the girls' dormitory," Neville said. "She wouldn't go to sleep after you two…talked. She helped with the wounded and the clean-up until Professor Flitwick practically dragged her upstairs and threatened to cast a sleeping charm on her. She went up a few hours ago."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I should find Ron and Hermione, and, um, you know, help out."

"Harry," Neville said, tossing the blanket aside and stepping forward, "I know what you think you saw, but you need to listen to—"

A scream cut through his words. Both young men froze, staring at each other in blank astonishment. Another scream came, high and terrified. Harry knew with certainty it had to be a girl, and that there was only one girl in the dormitory.

"Ginny!" Neville shouted as they both spun for the door. He reached it just in time for another scream.

"Luna! No, no, Luna!" Ginny's voice shrieked. "No, not Luna!"

"What the hell?" Harry cried. "You said Luna was—!"

"She's having a nightmare!"

Neville threw open the door, and leapt onto the stairs.

"Neville, you can't go up there!" Harry shouted.

It was too late. With a loud whirring sound, the stairs became a solid stone slide. Neville fell forward, and slid on his front to the bottom of the steps. Harry bent over him automatically to help him up.

"Luna! No, Luna!" Ginny screamed. "Please!"

"Damn it!" Neville cried, backing away. "Who thought this up?!"

"The founders," Harry answered. He tried bellowing up the stairs in desperation. "GINNY! GINNY, WAKE UP!"

"No, no! Please! It hurts! _Please!_"

"What hurts?!" Harry demanded. "What is she talking about?!"

"The Carrowes!" Neville snarled. "They…you don't understand!"

"It hurts!" Ginny wailed from above them. "Please! _Please, stop it!_ HARRY!"

"GINNY!"

Mindlessly, he threw himself at the stone slide that had been the stairs. Bare feet and hands gave him some traction. He crawled several feet higher by sheer will, fueled by another bloodcurdling scream. He had no idea where Ginny's screams were issuing from, as every year had their own dormitory on its own floor. He did not think of that, or anything other than making it just a few feet closer to her.

"Please! Please, stop it! Harry, please, Harry!"

"GINNY! GINNY, WAKE UP! GINNY!"

"Stop it, stop it, stop—'

The sudden silence made his heart almost stand still, and propelled him several feet higher, using the stones in the wall as handholds. From somewhere above him, he heard the sound of a door flying open. Seconds later, a body shot down the slide, and into his. He lost his grip, and they both flew the rest of the way down, his arms tight around her waist, hers around his neck.

They landed with a muffled thump at Neville's feet. Harry briefly saw his startled face through a haze of red hair. Then the other young man took several hasty steps back, and looked away.

Ginny, somehow lying on top of him, trembled from head to toe. Her nails cut into the back of his neck, and tears wetted his chest. With her face pressed into him, he could feel the tension of her clenched jaw as she desperately fought to control her emotions.

"Sh, Ginny," Harry whispered into her hair. "Sh, it's okay. You're awake now, and they're gone. We won. You're safe."

Slowly, the shudders working through her figure began to subside. She drew in great whooping breaths, and rubbed her eyes against his shirt. Her desperate grasp on his neck slackened just enough for her to lever herself up, and look into his face.

Harry gave a tiny gasp of shock. Ginny's hair was a wild mass of copper, some strands clinging to her flushed, tearstained cheeks. Red rimmed her brown eyes, still blazing, but shadowed with a deep fear. Her lips (oh, her lips!) trembled so hard she could not form words. She looked fragile, and frightened, and so much younger than sixteen. He could not remember her looking so fearful since she awoke in the Chamber of Secrets.

"Ginny," he whispered as he tucked several strands of hair behind her ear. "Ginny, what was it?"

She pressed her lips together for a moment to still them. Then she began, in a halting voice. "I…I was so _scared._ I thought…you weren't coming back. I thought…I'd never get a chance…to tell you. I thought…you might die…or I might die…and the last thing I said to you was…Happy Birthday. And that wasn't what I meant to say."

"It wasn't?"

"No. I wanted to say…" She shook her head, and closed her eyes. "Doesn't matter."

Harry felt a tiny frown between his eyes. He hoped he did not look as desperate as he suddenly felt. "It matters, Ginny."

She opened her eyes, and looked into his face. "No, it doesn't."

"Why not?"

"Because you are a _world-class ass,_ Harry Potter!"

Ginny planted both hands on his chest, and shoved herself roughly up and off him. Harry felt his breath forced from his lungs, his legs automatically curling up into a defensive position. For a moment she glared down at him, then spun to walk away.

"Ginny!" He tried to shout it, but it came out as more of a pained hiss.

"No!"

"Ginny!" Neville cried.

"Shut up, Neville!"

Harry could not blame Neville for backing down. Though he could not see Ginny's face, he knew the burning glare she could throw at someone who had evoked her rage. Neither of the young men said anything else as she slammed her way up to the boys' dormitory.

After a moment, Neville stepped into Harry's line of sight, looking down at him with great concern.

"You okay?"

Harry blinked up at him. "What just happened, exactly?"

Neville grimaced, and offered him his hand. Harry took it and allowed himself to be hauled to his feet. He leaned back against a couch, rubbing his sore chest and regarding Neville with raised eyebrows.

Neville glanced towards the door to their dormitory, then back to Harry.

"I think we need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Not mine, but oh, how I wish they were…_

_A/N: Uh, haha, hi there. Um, if you've been hoping for an update on this story…I'm so sorry! I'm trying, I'm trying, I really am! If you've been hoping for an update on any other of my stories…see the above excuse. Anyway, thanks go out to Mark Wink (if Ginny didn't fight with him, he wouldn't love her like he does), Laurendcq (thank you! you said everything I've thought about a lot of the Post-DH stories, and while I intend a happy ending, I want it to be seen that things weren't easy at Hogwarts, especially for Harry's close friends) loralu (sorry, there are only a few more chapters, hope your fingers hold out!) cutieme012 (well, I'm updating, though not as soon as I would have liked) Miss Bliss03 (sorry about the hanging, hope this helps some!) and InusAkane (of course he's protective, that's his Ginny, but she's protective of him, too, and I'm avoiding the Twilight series for fear of it's addictive qualities…but I'm sure it will draw me in, in the end)_

Harry nodded slowly at Neville.

"Okay. Let's talk."

Neville turned and went back to the chair before the fire. After a pause, Harry followed and dropped into the seat across from him. The two stared at one another for a long moment, until Neville shook his head and smiled a little.

"You know, you really are kind of dense sometimes, Harry. I mean, come on! Me? Beat out _you_?!"

"I get enough of this tripe from Ron," Harry snapped back. "He thought I was cutting him out with Hermione, and I'm really sick and—"

"That's different. That's Hermione. She's never looked at you like you're anything other than her brother! But Ginny…even when you were staying at their house and playing the eighth Weasley kid, Harry, you were _never_ her brother. I know."

"How do you know?"

Neville's smile grew. "Ginny told me."

Harry looked down at his knees. "Yeah, I knew we were never…I always knew Ginny…she felt…well, at least until Michael Corner…then Dean…and then…I don't know."

"Then you decided to snog her in the middle of the Common Room during a party," Neville reminded him, his voice gleeful. "I remember. I was there. _Everyone_ was there. I thought Romilda's head was going to explode."

Despite himself, Harry laughed a little, too. "She just looked so beautiful, covered in mud and wearing her Quidditch uniform and that look in her eyes…it was like it was a look just for me."

"Harry…"

He finally raised his head to look once more at Neville. The smile had faded from that round face. In the golden glow of the dying fire, every cut and every bruise seemed highlighted. Suddenly, it hit Harry just how long ago it had been that a bossy girl with bushy hair and prominent front teeth had stormed into the train compartment he shared with Ron, the shy round face of a boy who had misplaced his toad peering over her shoulder. Nearly seven years had passed…they had grown up. They were not two boys sitting across from one another, but two young men who had shared triumphs, defeats, horrors and wonders over seven years.

Harry nodded slowly at his friend. "It was bad, wasn't it?"

"It…wasn't Hogwarts," Neville said, as he had just the night before. "Not the Hogwarts you would recognize, Harry. The war never, _ever_ reached inside Hogwarts before. Even after Diggory was murdered, even after we'd been in the fight in the Ministry, the war always seemed like it was…_out there,_ somewhere. Then there were Death Eaters…_here._ Voldemort had reached inside Hogwarts, and Dumbledore wasn't here to protect us, and the teachers did everything they could, but…And it was so empty! So many students had disappeared that when someone didn't show up for class we…we all thought…The worst was, sometimes we were right.

"Hogwarts wasn't _safe_ anymore."

Hogwarts, always the refuge, always the stronghold of the Order of the Phoenix and the domain of Dumbledore, the only one Voldemort ever feared, had fallen to the enemy. It came like another blow to Harry, hard, right in the chest, right to his heart. While Harry hunkered down inside the protection of the castle walls, he, like Neville, had felt the war to be far away. But when he was far from Hogwarts, the news of the overthrow and the Death Eaters installment, though stunning, seemed remote, and almost unreal.

Now…

"What did they do to you all, Neville?" Harry whispered. "What did they do to her?"

Neville's round chin began to tremble. "I know why you left, Harry. I know you thought it would be safer for everyone if we didn't know where you were. You were right, because I can't promise they wouldn't have been able to torture it out of us. It _was_ safer. But did you really think just because you didn't take her with you, people would forget about you and Ginny? Did you think people would forget she was the only girl Hermione ever really talked to, or that she was Ron's sister? People's memories didn't disappear with you."

"They tried to make her talk," Harry guessed breathlessly. "How could they be so stupid? How could they think I would let her know, that I would put her in that kind of danger?!"

But he didn't need Neville to answer that. Death Eaters did not think like he did, like his friends did. They would have no trouble putting one another in danger, if it helped further their own personal gain. They would not understand that Harry would have cut out his own heart before giving them a reason to touch Ginny.

And touch her they had… Maybe she wasn't as cut and bruised as Neville, but her screams still echoed in his head, and he could still feel her tears on his neck. Ginny _never_ cried.

Neville was nodding slowly, as though he could follow the thoughts crashing into each other in Harry's brain.

"They tried to make her talk," Neville picked up. "The trouble was, the Carrowes didn't know Ginny. They used the Cruciatus curse on her, and I know how much it hurts, but she wouldn't scream. She would gouge cuts into her hands with her nails, and she would bite her lip until her face was covered in blood, but she wouldn't scream. Not Ginny. Then they'd ask again where you were, and she would say over and over that she didn't know."

"How—" Harry choked on bile, and had to push it back. "How long did they do this?"

"They dragged her out of line for the first banquet," Neville said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Luna and I tried to go with her, but they just shoved us back. We didn't eat, and took off the first chance we could, but Luna couldn't come up to Griffindor tower with me. Ginny was already there, shaking all over, but her eyes…she was so _angry._"

Catching his breath, Harry tried to hold on to the picture of Ginny's brilliant eyes, full of wrath, and not her white face, or her shaking limbs, or the image of her writhing on the floor that Neville was painting for him.

"Neville," he forced himself to ask, "how long?"

"Off and on for the first two weeks," the other young man admitted. "Harry, we tried everything, but they just wouldn't leave her alone! Then…then Snape said he was tired of listening to her scream. So he made her drink Veritaserum, and she said again she had no idea where you were or what you were doing. The Carrowes had to believe her. I think they were mad at Snape for taking away their excuse to hurt her. I guess…now, I guess Snape was just trying to help, without _seeming_ to help."

After six years of mutual loathing between himself and the potions master, Harry found himself almost loving the man after the last two nights. Yet he also wondered if, as Snape watched Ginny collapsed in pain on the floor, he wasn't seeing another pretty redhead girl with a fiery temper, one both he and Harry loved desperately.

Harry shook himself, and made his mouth move. "So…so they had to give up torturing her?"

"Well," Neville said, "they had to give up torturing her for information. But they couldn't get her to give up on you, or the Order. She got…detention."

_Detention,_ Harry though. _More torture. More pain. Ginny, why couldn't you just be quiet?_

Because it wasn't her way, and he wouldn't have loved her half as much if she had just stood by and done nothing.

He nodded to Neville. "Go on."

"Harry, you don't have to—"

"I need to know."

Neville hesitated, then closed his eyes. "That's when we came up with the idea, Luna and I. The idea that Ginny and I should be…together. Every time they looked at Ginny, they thought of her as _your_ Ginny."

_She is my Ginny!_ Harry nearly shouted. He took a deep breath and held it, then let it out slowly. He had to let Neville go on, no matter how much it hurt. He had left, and he was paying the price.

"But it wasn't _real,_ Harry!" Neville cried, his eyes flying open. "We used it to try and make the Carrowes and the Slytherins back off, and it was also real useful for passing messages and stuff like that. She doesn't want _me!_ She loves _you!_"

"Then why was she kissing _you!?_" Harry shouted, his control finally snapping. "It's over, the Carrowes are gone, but she was kissing you!"

"We used it as a joke!" Neville snapped back. "When we succeeded at something, some sabotage or trick, she'd give me a kiss! It was our little way of saying, 'Mission accomplished'! And it wasn't just our joke! Most the DA knew what that kiss meant, that we'd won a point against the Death Eaters, and it was a stupid little point, but it meant everything to us right then!"

Harry flung himself out of the chair, and strode over to the fire. He knew it was stupid, that Neville wouldn't lie to him, that he could never have taken Ginny with them because he desperately needed her _safe,_ so that if he survived he would have something beautiful and…and _magical_ to come home to. And if he didn't survive, at least he would have died so she could have some kind of free future. But he had never wanted to admit that future would involve someone else, someone to hold her as she cried for his death, to bring her smile back when he couldn't.

Somehow, this was almost worse. She had needed someone while he was still alive, someone else, and Neville said she loved him and wanted him, but she had shared something painful, something special with Neville, and she had shared it with a kiss. Of course it wasn't the kind of kiss she gave Harry, because those were his and his alone, but it was something he would never share with her.

_And she'll never share some of the things you shared with Hermione and Ron,_ a little voice whispered, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Albus Dumbledore at his most patient and kind. _She gave something to Neville that belongs to him, and always will. What do you plan to give her?_

He sighed, and then turned and went back to his seat. He felt tired, drained, and a lot older than seventeen. Neville stared hard at him, his face defensive, but anxious. They had been friends for a long time, and Harry always knew how much Neville admired him. Underneath the anger, he felt his own admiration burning hot and bright.

"You pretended to be together," Harry said. "Did that work? Did they leave her alone?"

"She didn't get in any more trouble than the rest of us," Neville said slowly. "She got caught less, actually. I think there's something in the Weasley blood that acts like a magnet to secret passageways. Anyone with her generally got out without trouble, too. She was one hell of a leader.

"But…"

Harry's head had been drifting thoughtfully downward, but now he jerked it back up. "But?"

"Well, I told you they took Luna off the train at Christmas break, right? It isn't like she just disappeared. Luna, and Ginny, and Seamus, and the Patil twins, and I were all in the compartment together. We always tried to have as many DA members as possible in one spot, so we could protect each other. The door opened, and Bellatrix Lastrange," Neville's voice dripped with hate, "was there, with a few cronies. Luna was sitting closest to the door. Bellatrix grabbed her arm, and tried to haul her out. Everyone started shouting, and Luna was screaming, and Ginny had her wand out and tried to throw up a shield. The compartment was so tiny, and she was so much faster than the rest of us. But Bellatrix didn't give her a chance. She just sort of flicked her wand, and Ginny went flying into the rest of us. It was when she tried to get up that we saw Ginny was bleeding. It was Sectumsempra, right to her chest.

"By now the whole train could hear what was happening. The compartments on either side of ours were full of DA members, or at least Griffindors. I saw a few spells get thrown at Bellatrix and her friends, but our compartment was so crazy right then that we could barely get out. We could still hear Luna crying out, and Ginny was shouting her name, and then Luna stopped yelling. By the time we made it to our feet and through the door, Luna was gone."

Harry heard, and understood, the helplessness in Neville's voice. He had felt it himself as he was locked in the Malfoy basement, listening to Hermione as she was tortured, and he had no way of helping her.

"I think Ginny might have gotten in more trouble if she hadn't stumbled right out the door and to her mum. Bellatrix was gone, but a couple ofSlytherins and their parents started towards her, and then Mrs. Weasley gave them this look like…well, _you_ know."

Harry knew, and wasn't surprised they had retreated.

It was Neville's turn to get up, and walk slowly towards the fireplace. "That was a lousy Christmas. We couldn't even send each other gifts, because we knew they were watching us. I didn't hear from Ginny until it was time to go back to school, and then I almost thought she wasn't coming. I don't think her mum wanted her too, not when she came staggering off the train covered in blood. But she did come back, and it turns out the Carrowes and the Slytherins remembered the scene on the train."

This was it. Harry knew, this was what had led to the nightmare, the fear in Ginny's eyes, the pain in her voice. He wanted to shut Neville up, but he knew he needed to hear what came next.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: Not mine, borrowing them for a little fun, will try to remember to wash them when I'm done._

_A/N: Haha, I told you I'd do better! Anyway, thanks go out to Comet Moon (you think that was an ouch...) Gin M. Weasley (continuing, per request) callie258 (thank you!) Michael4HPGW (no, no, not raped) InusAkane (bad things happen in war, especially if you're the main enemies ex-girlfriend) loralu (I think the fact that Hogwarts _wasn't_ safe was the most jarring thing about DH...it was all about the end of innocence) hpfanficaddit327 (thank you, and yet another cliffie for you all) katie (I've always thought Ginny was a pretty intense person, so thank you!)_

"It started out a lot like before Christmas," Neville whispered. "Stupid stuff, you know? The Slytherins would deliberately bump into us, and shove us into walls, and steal things because we couldn't do anything to stop them. The Carrowes would try to catch us in any little thing to give us detention. We thought we were getting better, but now I think Snape might have been covering for us a little too.

"Except...remember Zabini? Blaise Zabini?"

"What, the one with the mother with all the dead, rich husbands?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, him. Well...well, he held up his nose at all of us, but I caught him looking at Ginny more than I liked. He always had that, you know, that snear on his face. When he looked at Ginny, though, it was like she was something he...I don't know, something he wanted to _eat._ But scarier. Ginny saw it too, and she always tried to stay away from him. Sometimes she couldn't."

Harry felt himself stiffening, his hands curling into fists. His jaw clenched, and that old beast inside him began to snarl.

"What. Did. He. Do?" he hissed.

"We had just let a couple of kids out of detention," Neville began, his eyes open but clouded with pain. "Two Ravenclaws and Zacharias Smith. I don't remember why there were in detention. I guess it doesn't matter. We sent them towards their Common Rooms, and ran off in the other direction. We stopped to catch our breath. We'd _never_ gotten kids out of detention without any trouble before. We thought we were so clever, and Ginny started to giggle, and I started to laugh, and we'd completed our mission, so she leaned over and gave me a kiss.

"That's when the Slytherins let us know they were there. They hit us both with a hex, and sent us slamming into a wall. It was Zabini, and Crabbe, and Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson...and Smith."

"_Smith?_" Harry interrupted incredulously. "But...he was in the DA!"

"Not after the Carrowes showed up," Neville said. "He didn't want anything to do with us after that."

"But he's a Hufflepuff! They're...they're..."

They were like the Gryffindors favorite cousins. The Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors fought only over Quidditch. In nearly everything else, they closed ranks. Harry remembered vividly the surge of Hufflepuffs who rose between him and the Slytherins just the night before, all their faces fixed in angry, protective scowls, all their wands strong and steady.

"I mean, a Ravenclaw, sure, they might to turn if it was the _smart_ thing to do," Harry continued, "but a _Hufflepuff?_"

Neville made a helpless gesture with one hand. "He didn't turn, exactly. They caught him, and I think he got to choose between being tortured, or leading them to us. He couldn't have known how bad it would get.

"See, Parkinson snatched Ginny up before I could even get my barings again. But you know Ginny. She stomped on Parkinson's toe good and hard, and elbowed her in the nose, too. Parkinson went down, and she was bleeding. Crabbe grabbed Ginny and...he hit her! Punched her right in the face. All that Quidditch made her quick, and she rolled with it. Still, I know it hurt. I jumped up, and I hit him from behind. I don't think any of us even remembered we had wands or magic right then. I didn't want spells or curses. I wanted to _hit_ something, to _hurt_ someone, and I wanted to do it with my hands.

"I only got the one hit in, though. Goyle kicked my in the stomach. I fell back. He shoved me up against the wall, and hit me again, and again. I don't know how many times. Sure seemed like a lot. I fell down. He kicked me a couple more times, then he finally stopped.

"That's when I saw Ginny. Crabbe had her hands behind her back. Parkinson was laughing, but she sure as hell kept away from Ginny's feet. Zabini had just been standing there, and Smith was kind of cowering behind him. Now Zabini walked right up to Ginny, and he had that look on his face again. He took her chin between two of his fingers, and he said, 'The Weaslette's been kissing that filthy mudblood Potter, and now she's kissing blubbery Longbottom. Poor little Weaslette doesn't know what kissing a real wizard is like.'

"Ginny...she couldn't kick him, couldn't hit him, so she hurt him with words. She said, 'Neville Longbottom is brave, and Harry Potter is strong and loyal. You, Zabini, you're a coward, and you're weak, and you're slime. They're _both_ twice the wizard you are, and ten times the man.' Then she spit right in his face."

Even though Harry knew what came next would cut him to his heart, pride coursed through him with the fear. Ginny, braver, stronger, and far more loyal than anyone he knew...she had never wavered, had never, not once, not even to save herself, turned her back on the ones she loved, even if they were not there to hear her. It wasn't for him that she had cursed Zabini and praised himself. It was, simply, because she believed it.

"Harry," Neville's eyes filled with tears, but glowed, "that's when I understood everything you felt for Ginny. That's when I knew why she was the one you loved. I loved her too at that moment. It was stupid, but I had never seen anyone so brave.

"You know, for a second, even Crabbe and Goyle didn't know what to do. No one said anything. No one even moved. At first I thought it was because Zabini didn't know what to do. I thought he might just let us go. Then I looked at his face.

"I was so scared when he grabbed Ginny around the neck. I thought he was going to kill her. But he spun her around, and shoved her forward. She fell down, on her knees. God, Harry, it all happened so fast. His wand came up, and then he brought it down like a whip. Sectumsempra, across her back. Again. Again. I got up as Goyle and Crabbe were backing off. I tried to push past them. They grabbed me, stopped me. I fought them, Harry, you have to believe I fought them! I tried so hard to get to her!

"Zabini's face didn't even look human. If he had been snarling or angry...but he was _smiling._ That look was still in his eyes, hungry, but it was like hurting her was just as good as kissing her! And he brought his wand down again, and she was bleeding so much. He pulled it back up, and I shouted at him to stop, to leave her alone. Smith was shouting, too, he kept shouting, 'Teacher! Teacher!' like that would help. Zabini just hit her again and...Ginny cried out."

Neville's eyes came back to the present, and focused on Harry's face.

"She cried out for you."

It wasn't until he tasted the brine on his own lips that Harry realized tears were sliding down his cheeks. He finally felt the uncontrollable shaking in his whole body. The rage still burned, hot and bright, but the shame was worse.

"I should have been here."

"You would be dead," Neville reminded him.

"I should have...I should have..."

There was nothing he could have done, and that hurt more than anything.

He swallowed, and forced out more words. "When did Zabini stop?"

"Right then. Because he had the Body Bind Curse cast on him. So did Crabbe, and Goyle, and Parkinson. Turns out Smith had done better to help than I had. McGonagall was there, and Flitwick, and Slughorn. McGonagall and Flitwick were beyond furious. Slughorn looked so white and shocked. Smith just kept cowering there, but I was free, and I ran to Ginny. She wasn't crying, but laying there and bleeding and shaking.

"Slughorn helped me get her up and to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey did what she could, but you know about curse scars. She stopped the bleeding, and she made Ginny sleep. She let me stay that night.

"I remember waking up because the curtain rattled as it opened. Snape was standing there, and he was staring down at the bandages that were still a little bloody, and I almost jumped up and hit him. I know you probably would have, Harry. He didn't look worried, or mad, or _anything._ He had this strange, empty look on his face. Then he looked at me for a second, at my bruises and my face. And he said, 'Just like your parents.' And he left.

"A week later we went home for Easter. Ginny was so quiet all week, and even on the train ride home. Everyone wanted to get out of there for the holiday. Right before we got off, when we were the last two in the compartment, she kissed me, on the cheek. That was the only _real_ kiss she ever gave me. Then she left, and went home. I didn't see her again until last night.

"This morning...that kiss...it was the last one. It was the end of the fight, Harry. The last of our victories. She doesn't need me anymore, if she ever really did, because you're home, and it's all done. She may be angry now, but...she needs _you_, Harry."

The silence stretched for several minutes. Harry stared blankly into the fire, letting the story chase itself over and over around his head. Ginny...blood...torn flesh...her voice, crying out his name...

"I'm scared," he whispered. "If I try to talk to her, and she won't let me...Neville, I love her."

"I know," Neville said simply.

Between them hung the words that Neville was too loyal and too proud to utter, but Harry heard them anyway.

_I love her, too._

"What should I do?" Harry asked helplessly.

"Tell her, Harry."


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: Well, I sure ain't richer than the Queen of England, so they obviously aren't mine..._

_A/N: Alright, I think we've thoroughly handled the hurt, time for the comfort! Thank yous go out to ginevrapulliza (I'm trying to keep it close to the series, I hope this chapter lives up to my attempts!) Katie (here's Ginny's answer, hope you like!) nilpotter (well, no one had it easy, and no relationship ever goes without some misundertandings, but the thing I love about the Harry Potter characters is that no one, not even Harry, is perfect) callie258 (Harry agrees with your desire to see Zabini cursed, I assure you) VanillaBean75 (I think that's what I missed most in the way they ended Deathly Hallows, just handeling a couple of the tough issues, the main one being, was it all worth it? Anyway, glad you liked it!) Annonymous Harry Potter freak (it's sad that making people cry makes me pleased, because that's what _I_ was doing as I wrote it, and it means I must have done something right) and Miss Realista (it's hard to keep my modesty when you're so sweet, but I remember I'm only borrowing from a truly great writer, and suddenly it's not so hard :-P) Thanks to everyone who reads it at all!_

His hand landed on the solid wood of the door, and there Harry hesitated. He could hear nothing from the other side. If he had not seen Ginny storm up the stairs himself, he would have thought the dormitory was empty. He wondered for a second whether she had gone to one of the other years' rooms.

_Only one way to find out,_ he told himself with a little sigh.

He pushed the door open, and walked in.

For a moment, he thought his heart stopped.

Less than an hour before, Ginny had lain at the bottom of the stairs, looking for all the world like the little girl he had rescued from the Chamber of Secrets. Now she lay on his four poster bed, on top of his crimson and gold bedclothes, curled and twisted up so her head pointed to the foot of the bed and her feet towards the top, hugging his pillow to her chest, and she had never appeared less like a child. Her hair, lit by a single burning candle, flashed in a thousand different shades of red and copper and gold. The light played across flesh that Harry had never realized was so fair, so perfect, though he knew how soft it felt beneath his fingers. Her eyes were closed, but her lashes threw delicate shadows onto her cheeks. Her lips parted slightly as she took a breath, as soft and pink and sweet as a cherry blossom. Even the freckles across her nose drew him in, because he knew he could close his eyes and still find each and every one, they were so familiar.

More than that, the candle behind her drew a glowing aura around her body, and as suddenly as it had hit him in his sixth year, there was no doubt that little Ginny Weasley had grown up. It had taken every ounce of strength in his stubborn soul not to stare as she flitted around Bill and Fleur's wedding in the gold dress that drew such criticism from Great-Auntie Muriel. Now it was over, all over, and there were just the two of them, and he recognized the jeans as the ones she wore in the garden, and, with a jolt, he knew the tee-shirt was one he himself had thought lost last summer at the Burrow, olive green, old, and tattered, and she looked like an angel. Only, Harry realized ruefully, no angel ever made his eyes follow hungrily nothing more than the way her waist dipped down, and then swelled into the very feminine curve of a hip. In the position he was in, uncertain if she would even accept his presence, he tried not to let his eyes or mind stray to where his shirt hugged her form, or how her figure pressed into his pillow.

Then her eyes opened, and fixed on his, and though they were still the most glorious shade of chocolate brown Harry had ever seen, they seemed frozen and unrelenting.

There was a moment of silence, as they stared at each other, Ginny with her cheek still resting on his pillow, Harry with his hand still on the door frame.

Finally, Harry gave a tiny shrug.

"I'm an idiot."

Ginny did not blink, and her eyes did not soften.

"I know that."

He let the door go, let it swing closed and cut the rest of the world off.

"I didn't understand."

She squeezed the pillow a little tighter to her chest.

"You didn't ask."

He took a step further forward.

"I was scared."

She looked down, her mouth still hard.

"I spent almost a year being scared."

He did not think it was safe to go closer, so he shifted from foot to foot.

"Neville explained."

Her brow furrowed unhappily.

"Explained about what?"

He clenched his fists at his sides.

"Everything. The Carrows. The kiss. Everything."

Her mouth trembled just a little.

"Everything."

He nodded, even though she would not look at him.

"Everything."

She brought one hand out, and plucked at the crimson and gold blanket uncertainly.

"I hate you."

His eyebrows flew up, and he froze.

"Really?"

She looked up, looked him in the eye, and shook her head.

"No. I never could, even when I wanted to."

She dropped her eyes again.

He took a deep breath.

"Ginny?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Can I...come over there?"

"Yes, Harry."

Harry walked across the dorm, every step lighter than the next, until he could sit on the edge of the bed. Ginny lifted her eyes to watch him, and though he desperately wanted to kiss her, he was afraid, still afraid, she would push him away. He took the chance, though, to let his knee touch hers. She made no move to pull away.

"Ginny, don't be mad, but Neville really did tell me everything. He wanted me to really understand-"

"He had no right!" Ginny broke in angrily. "He...he never told even Luna! He shouldn't have said...He shouldn't have."

Harry shrugged weakly. "He was trying to help. He's your friend, Ginny. He...he loves you."

"And what about you?"

Startled, Harry blinked. Per usual, Ginny eschewed subtlety, and brought the matter straight to the fore. Her eyes never wavered from his face, and, once again, it was he who looked away. He transfered his gaze to her shoulder.

"Ginny...let me see your back."

For the first time, she recoiled from him. "Why?"

"Because you...you know my scars. This," he lifted his fingers to the lightning-shaped mark on his forehead, "and these," he let the light catch Umbridge's cruel writing, "and everything in here." He touched his chest. "I'll bet Luna and Neville have brought a lot of people up to speed about what we've been doing, too. Everyone always seems to know what I'm doing. I...I want to know what you've been doing. I don't want to hear it from Neville. I want to know what's happened to you, _from _you."

Ginny leaned forward, and laid her hand next to his, on his chest. He felt his heartbeat double. She must have, too, because she gave a tiny nod.

"Okay."

Harry slid further onto the bed as Ginny lay back down, now on her stomach. His fingers were shaking as they caught the hem of her shirt, and it had nothing to do with scars or curses. She hugged his pillow to her chest again and nuzzled her cheek against it. Slowly, Harry rolled the fabric up her back, over her shoulder blades, and to her neck. Then he sat back and stared.

Twelve. He thought there were twelve scars, but perhaps there were more, webbed together so he could not tell them apart. Without thinking, he leaned over her, laid his fingers on that raised, angry red flesh, and followed the marks. They slashed over her shoulders, down her spine, and across the small of her back. One scar even lanced from the curve where her shoulder met her neck to wrap around the opposite side of her rib cage. Harry traced his touch along that long scar until it disappeared under the line of lace and satin.

"Ginny," he whispered, his voice shaking harder than his hands, "Zabini did this?"

She nodded without raising her head.

He tried to slow his breathing, to stop that roaring beast that demanded he race out into the night and dig up every Death Eater hiding place until he could find Blaise Zabini, and rip him to shreds. He knew how Neville had felt, watching Ginny tortured and unable to stop it. He wanted to sink his own fists into flesh, to see Zabini double up from the blows to his body from Harry's own flesh and bone, and Dumbledore had been wrong, all wrong, because he wasn't so very great a man, he wanted to hurt someone, to make him _bleed,_ to make him suffer because she had suffered...

"It's not so bad, Harry," Ginny murmured, twisting the pillowcase between her fingers. "Not so bad. They never killed students, but I think they would have if they thought they could get away with it. There were worse things that happened...it's not so bad."

Harry moved his fingers back up the scar, then changed directions when he reached another mark. He traced them over and over again, memorizing them as clearly as he knew the freckles on her nose. With each second, and each touch, he felt them cutting deeper into his heart, in the exact same pattern as they had landed when Zabini tortured her for being loyal and brave and beautiful and more than he could ever have.

"I wasn't afraid for me," Ginny whispered. "Not of being caught. Not of being hurt. We'd run around the castle at night, and I felt like you had thrown your Cloak over me, like no one could see me, and no one could hurt me. That was the only time I got caught, you know."

His chin trembled slightly, and he slipped his fingers up, over her shoulder, and brushed the hair away from her neck.

"Even when they caught us, I wasn't afraid for me. I was worried about Neville, and he was worried about me. I always felt safe, because they could torture me all they wanted and I couldn't tell them anything. It made me feel brave, and kind of superior. I forgot that sometimes they don't torture you for information, or because it will make someone do something for them. Sometimes they do it because they can."

Leaning lower over her back, he brought his eyes closer, because he wanted to see every tiny mark. It broke his heart anew as he realized one scar slashed one of her freckles in two. He was so close he knew his breath left goosebumps on her skin, and she was shaking a little, too.

"It hurt. It really, _really_ hurt...the first few times. Then I guess I went into shock or something, because it didn't hurt anymore. I don't think I would even have known he was still...hurting me, if it weren't for all the blood. It kept falling around me. I remember it was soaking through my jeans, and it was in my hair, and on my face, and when I opened my mouth to breathe I could even taste it. It's strange, but that's what I remember...just the taste of the blood, and how sticky it was. All that kept going through my mind was that I couldn't die, not now, because I wanted to see you again. I could smell the mud and sweat of a Quidditch game, and I thought I heard people cheering, but I guess it was actually Neville yelling my name, and I saw you, and you were laughing because we had won, and I swooped down and tried to fly into your arms, but you weren't there! I called out for you, and you weren't there. Then I had to come back, back to that corridor and all that blood, because Neville and Slughorn were trying to move me, and that was reality, and you really weren't there, and...and that _hurt,_ more than anything Zabini could ever do."

He closed his eyes, and laid his cheek between her shoulderblades, one hand playing with her hair, and just listened to her heart beat, and the breath rushing through her lungs. He was aware, again, of his own flesh, pressed to hers, and his own blood singing through his veins. They were alive, both alive, and they had lost much, but they had gained a chance to live a life without hunters waiting in the darkness, without constant fear, without pain at every turn. Someday, he might even think those losses were worth the gains.

Tonight, he just knew she was warm, she still smelled like flowers, she was so very beautiful, and they would have days, months, and years to truly appreciate being alive...

And he would love her through them all.

"But Harry, that night I learned something. There was nothing the Death Eaters or their little Slytherin wannabe's could do to me. They couldn't kill me, Harry. I _was_ going to see you again, and there was no curse and no evil strong enough to stop me."

He laughed a little, because he knew it was true.

"Because I love you, Harry."

He opened his eyes, and watched that red hair that he could never get enough of.

"I know," he began slowly, "that my parents must have told me that before. They may have said it the night they died. The thing is, I don't know. I can't remember anyone ever saying that to me. And I'm glad...you were the first."

He felt her shift against him. He lifted his head, and she rolled over, onto her back, so that she could look up at him. He rested one arm beside her head, and stared down into her face. No, he had never truly appreciated how beautiful she was. He would not make that mistake ever again.

"When I went into the Forest last night, Ginny, and when Voldemort pointed his wand at me, I knew I was going to die. That's when you know how much you love...everyone. But I think I would have passed up a chance for any other goodbye just to kiss you one more time."

Those brown eyes began to burn again.

"Because I love you, Ginny."

She smiled, and touched his face.

"If you had just said that _before,_ you could have saved us both a lot of time."

"What can I say? I'm an idiot."

Ginny laughed, tugged him down, and rose up to meet him in a long overdue kiss.


End file.
